• Jess • 17 •

Why don't you just imagine it never happened?

I don’t want to sit in a waiting room full of sick people. Nope.

A text post I posted last night has only just shown up on my blog? Why? Stupid

I don’t know what to expect at the doctors tomorrow. I’m just feeling numb at the thought. Not nervous, not scared, numb. Am I going to shut down and hardly say anything? Am I going to cry and shout? Am I going to be angry and refuse everything? Am I going to talk about it and be open?

I don’t know. I feel so unpredictable. I’ve hardly seen anyone the last two days, I just want to be on my own. But at the same time, I hate feeling so alone in this because literally no one I know has been through this process.

I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.

I don’t know what to expect at the doctors tomorrow. I’m just feeling numb at the thought. Not nervous, not scared, numb. Am I going to shut down and hardly say anything? Am I going to cry and shout? Am I going to be angry and refuse everything? Am I going to talk about it and be open?

I don’t know. I feel so unpredictable. I’ve hardly seen anyone the last two days, I just want to be on my own. But at the same time, I hate feeling so alone in this because literally no one I know has been through this process.

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